grief

I have never struggled with a death as much as I struggle with this...I think it's because I can just feel right through my husband's heart and feel the pain...I feel for him.

I remember the times that I wish I had just made an extra effort to be closer to JR...to insist that he spend time with my children and that they have a close relationship to him...don't get me wrong they were close with their pappy but not like it could have been.

Anyway, it's too late for all of that and now I'm just here left with some broken folks...including me.

I thought I would blog because well...it's 12:01am and I am still sitting here going through picture after picture creating a DVD of his life...I wonder...why is it that this hurts me so bad...those of you who know my relationship with JR know it was a love hate thing...I always loved him but sometimes we did not see eye to eye...then I remember "two become one"...I am hurting so badly because I am sharing my husbands pain...

"A cord of three strands is not quickly broken" Ecclesiastics 4:12

"Two shall become one flesh" Matthew 19:5