The cheating housewife tricks

I am the worse housekeeper I know...but one thing I do know how to do is cheat on my housework...

So I was talking to a friend tonight on Facebook and she said...you should write a book of all your tricks...I thought this was funny for me to write a book or post on keeping a clean house cause any of y'all that know me or have visited my home know that this is definitely not my forte.

I decided though I would share my tricks...how I cheat...on housework...

I dishwash everything...from baby toys to candle holders, sconces, utensil organizer, cosmetic bags, toothbrush holders and anything else that can be placed in the dishwasher, has small pieces I don't want to clean.

I give my three year old a squirt bottle full of water and a teensy weensy bit of fabric softener and let him go to town spraying any fabric...carpet, beds and curtains before guests come over (it's like homemade febreze)

Anything large like baby bouncers, high chairs...they go in the shower...after the boys are done their bath I use that water and run the shower a tid bit...cleans them right up.

I clean my shower while I'm taking my shower...I just keep what I need to clean it in the shower...Magic Erasers are the best...keeps me from bending over a tub and scrubbing getting my clothes all wet...I clean my shower in the nude...don't judge me.

The boys love my Spraying Mop so I let them spray the floor...they love it...keeps them semi clean.

I vacuum my cabinets instead of wiping them out...typically gets all the crumbs with less mess.

I have recently purchased plastic dressers for the boys with those cheap drawers...I put pictures of the boys on each drawer depending on which one it belongs to and a picture of whatever clothing goes in that drawer...that way they put their own clothes away.

I have an idea for in my laundry room that I haven't executed yet...I'm thinking a large bar going across the length of the room with tons of hangers and as stuff comes out of the dryer...hang it up directly...

Instead of sorting toys I let the boys just throw them in two big tubs...saves on the organizing and they can pick up after themselves.

We bought each child their own specific socks with the name brand printed on the bottom of the foot...that way we can tell which ones are Jakes and which ones are Ben's...makes it much easier to sort and match socks...we threw away all colored socks...the boys socks all match each other. Shawn and I did the same with black and white socks...so all the black socks of Shawn's match, etc. This has saved us a ton of time.

I throw dump some windex or dishwashing liquid in a rubbermaid and throw it in the microwave for about 3 minutes...makes it much easier to wipe out the microwave.

Shawn hates this trick...If apples get bruised and we don't want to eat them I chop them up and throw them in a pot with cinnamon and boil it then lower to a simmer for about 20 minutes...makes your house smell like you've been baking apple pies all day.

Another fruit trick...old oranges or ones that are sour...shove some cloves in them and hang them up...smells delicious.

When I clean out the refrigerator me and the kids play basketball with the old food...tons of fun...oh and I always clean it with really really hot water...the spilled goo comes up right away

Every few months me and the boys give all toys that don't have batteries a "Bath"...they have fun throwing them in the tub I run super hot water and put 1/4 cup of bleach in...then I lock them out of the bathroom for ten minutes...then go in and drain the water and run the shower a few minutes...then I let them towel off their toys...and they are now "germ free".

Please send me any cool tricks or cheats you use...I love them!

How I became a pirate

Today we went to a play with the homeschooling co op...so much fun...Jake spent the whole play on my lap as the pirates were a bit scary for him at first...funny thing though...at the end of the play the captain said he was looking for recruits and to meet him in the lobby to "sign up"...Ben came running up to me after the play and said can we sign up for the next tour?

hahahahahaha...

Here are some pics...lousy ones but pics...

The story of the meatball

There once was a boy named Jacob; he was very cute. Jacob had a round face and big huge dimples. He liked meatballs very much. One day Jacob was eating meatballs...he ate one, two, three, four meatballs...then five, six, seven meatballs until he eventually ate more than he could count...Jacob went to the mirror and staring back at him was a GIANT MEATBALL.

He had turned himself into a big GIANT MEATBALL. Whoa Jacob said as he rolled away. He rolled down the street through the neighborhood past the market over the bridge and finally came to a stop at the school. There he sat alone. Jacob looked up and began to smile...there was his daddy. Daddy he said down here...Jacob's daddy looked down at the round dimpled meatball...he said mmmm...that meatball looks delicious. Jacob said Daddy don't eat me...I am not a meatball I am your Jacob...Daddy said you are not my Jacob you are a meatball...Jacob persisted...I am not a meatball I am your Jacob...Daddy said how will I know you are my Jacob and not a delicious meatball...Jacob said tickle me daddy with your tickle claw and you will see that I am your Jacob not a delicious meatball...so Daddy got out his tickle claw...he started towards Jacob...Jacob started to giggle and daddy said...wait...you look way to delicious to not be a real meatball...and Jacob said tickle me daddy...so daddy tickled Jacob and the more he tickled the more he knew this was HIS JACOB turned into a MEATBALL...Jacob said Daddy take me to mommy...with one kiss I will be your Jacob again...So daddy took Jacob to his mommy and she kissed her Jacob and he turned back into a boy again...Jacob promised only to eat a few meatballs from now on.

Pumpkin Carving...pictures edition

I don't belong

Have you ever felt like you don't belong...

I sometimes feel that way...I have learned something so cool though...

It seems at those time God always teaches me through it. If you feel like you don't belong remember...there are some times we are not supposed to feel comfortable...comfort isn't always a great thing.

So I know this isn't like a life changing blog post but God has just been showing me today that in the times of my life where I have felt I don't belong is when he always shows up big time to help me see where he is...is always where I want to be...

I think about the disciples how many times they walked into places where they only felt they didn't belong but new their presence there caused them and Jesus great danger...

Think about this...

"Those who go to God Most high for safety will be protected by the Almighty. I will say to the Lord 'You are my place of safety and protection. You are my God and I trust you' God will saveryou from the hidden traps and from deadly diseases. He will cover you with his feathers and under his wings you can hide." Psalm 91:1-4a

I believe this speaks to our emotions too...not just our physical safety...

when you feel like you don't belong...go to God for safety...if you are somewhere with Him...YOU ARE SAFE!

Pumpkin Carving TIme

Ben and Daddy carved pumpkins tonight...Jake thinks they are filled with cheese...

Oh the boys and their SLIME

Evan pouting because he and the dog were kicked out of the slime arena

Ben's "rattlesnakes" because just plain snakes would not be enough for him...

Jake just happy that he gets to stir

Tif decided to make slime with the boys...oh did they have fun...Jake spent most of the time with green slime on his rear and buttons stuck to it...lol

Legion Park Hollidaysburg PA

I think that playground developers should take many notes from this playground in Hollidaysburg PA...

The Legion Playground forces children to run, play, climb and most of all use their imagination...with learning opportunities around every corner...we had a blast...if you are ever in the Altoona area you have got to check out this park...

The Comfort of PA

The Altoona area has always been my home away from home...Grandma, Aunt Lisa, Aunt Betsy and Aunt Kathy's house were frequent visits of mine and I share so many childhood memories there...Thank you ladies for being such a wonderful influence in my life....

where I spent the most time though Aunt Brenda's...

My Aunt Bren's has always been a place of comfort...I've always felt at home there...I wonder why sometimes...what is it that makes me feel so at home...She was always the kind to really mean...Make yourself at home...from always having extra toothbrushes to sharing anything and everything she had with you...whatever you wanted she usually had and there was no asking...her answer...sure you can have it...don't ask...if it's here it's yours...

I hope my home is as comforting...I hope like Aunt Brenda folks feel comfortable to come in put your feet up, grab something to eat and just chill...Thanks Aunt Brenda for showing God's love in your home...I love you!

Me and the boys spent the week there with Tif and we had a blast...here are some pics...and some stories...

This time...the boys made instant friends with the dogs although Ben would still run from them and jump on the couch as if to say Ha...you didn't catch me...

Jake woke up the first morning there at 6am...wanting to blow bubbles...the advantage of living in the woods...Jake opened the door and in his pj's blew bubbles till he had no more to blow...

Twiggisms...part Jake

Ok so I first started blogging because of the funny things Ben would say around the age of 3...well here we go...Jake has hit 3 and the funny sayings are on like Donkey Kong...here's some of the latest between the two of them...

I hear this conversation from the boys room today...

Jake says to Ben...Itch my butt...Ben says Jake that's gross we don't say butt...Jake screams But it itches...Ben says Jake itch it yourself...Jake says...I can't my arms short...Ben says fine then but only one time...

seriously folks can't make this stuff up

Jake...mom I'm starving...I say Jake you just ate...Jake says nu uh that was breakfast...I say no Jake that was 5 minutes ago...Jake says fine then I get it myself...where's the chili...

Jake to a random guy in the cafeteria...Nice Tattoo...you make me one

Read the following with caution...

Jacob still cannot wipe himself so he yells from the bathroom...I respond today and as soon as I walk in he says...stop right there...this is a surprise...I make a shart and a fish...then he points in the toilet to two turds.

A few years ago Ben surprised me with a fascination...y'all that are closest to us remember it...well Jake is there now...every time he's nakey he says mom it's getting so big...see...

Ok...Ben statements...

Mom when are we going to the beach I want to go so bad...I said I'm sorry we didn't get to go this year maybe next...he says fine by then I'll have muscles

Ben says Saturday...can we order a pizza...I said no buddy we're just going to make a frozen one...he said...mom why do they even make pizza from the fridge...they all taste like dirt.

Ben says...mommy...I heard God speaking to me...he said he wants me to work at McDonald's when I get bigger.

Ben...Ms. Lisha and me had fun at the theatres...she gave me her sweater to cover my eyes when it got scary...I said yeah...he said I really didn't need it but took it to make her smile.

Ben says to Evan today...You are the cutest baby in the world...except for me...I don't remember me but everyone else said I was the bestest.