Tearful school decisions

With a new baby on the way the question has been asked by my sweet husband...to homeschool or not to homeschool?  I don't think as a teenager or even college student I could have ever imagined how difficult it is to make decisions that WILL effect your children for life.  The stress is immense...I want so badly for God to just write his plan for each of my children out in an instruction manual that I can follow in detail to ensure I am leading them down the path designed for them to become awesome caring intelligent full of faith trusting in God men of God...but instead God gave me and Shawn these children to raise.
So let me tearfully place these thoughts out there for mom's like me...
Staying at home with my kids the past two years and schooling them has been one of the biggest challenges of all of my life.  Its very difficult to maintain patience, I often give myself time outs and because I don't have "evaluations" I am lead to be the chief evaluator of myself.  I am unsure if I am "doing things right" and constantly feel disappointed that what I am doing is enough.  Surprising coming from a woman lead by The Lord and living consistently feeding on God's word right?
What I have discovered is that I am and will always be who I am...my weaknesses, inconsistencies, insecurity is all part of God's way of showing off through me...he takes them and makes them into a stronger than I think, constant, secure amazing mom and teacher of my children.
SO the thought of my children attending public school...brings tears equivalent with a waterfall.  I see it as my failure to school my children...inconsistency in their life and it plagues me at the thought of someone else teaching and influencing my children...
I have read the statistics of homeschool, private and public schools...I have read books on each...I've taken numerous college classes on child development...and still...there is not enough information for me to make a decision homeschool, public or private that makes COMPLETE SENSE...so I'm trusting in my husband and my Heavenly Father to make his ways known...for now...I will tearfully prepare that my children may be going to school next year...and attempting not to have a nervous breakdown.

The joys of boys

Boys can be so sweet...I wonder if I have a little girl how different it will be.  My boys can be rough, disobedient and headstrong....and also sweet, and cuddly, and caring...all in one hour... :)  Here are some thoughts on my boys

Ben:
My oldest son.  At 6 years old Ben is sweet, caring, helpful and loving of his family.  He has an immense heart to feed the hungry and it's a passion that consumes his thoughts. After raising money for both food banks, volunteering at the Keyser Food Bank and leading a drive of rice bowls filled with change for the children in Haiti in the past year Ben STILL desires to do more.  I feel blessed to have him in my life.  Part of Ben's passionate personality create a desire to NEVER stop talking (for those of you who know my hubby you can understand where that comes from) and a lack of control with his STRONG emotions.  Whatever Ben is feeling...you know he's feeling and usually in a loud way full of non verbals.

Jacob:
My second oldest son.  Jacob is the most snuggly, squishy child you will ever meet.  He is a man of few words and lots of love.  He loves to do dishes and clean the floors.  In Jake's world its mostly all about Jake but he is such a lover and giver to his family.  Jacob is my golden retriever; loyal, loving, bigger than he thinks and desires to constantly be played with and around people.  Someday Jacob is going to make one fine hubby...especially with those dimples glaring...what sweetness he adds to my life.

Evan:
My baby boy.  At almost 2 Evan is easy going and sweet with very little outburst.  He loves to play with choo choos and climb.  Evan makes every day fun and full of adventure